New solo album?
Yeah, it’s basically the same lineup as in The Tommy Lasorda Experience, it’s just my solo record. I’m the alpha female, I write all the music and lyrics. Hate to sound like Gene Simmons, but Jimmy and Miguel are basically hired help. Don’t tell them I said that. Okay, you can. It’s already been distributed by our label, should hit all the streaming services in a few days. It’s called “Me Me Me Me More More More Mine Mine Mine” by Sarah Herrera, and it’s on Insurrectionary Records NYC.
Summarize the album.
Well, the title is interesting. One day I was extremely high, I mean outer space, and I decided to sit down and write. The only rule was that every single sentence had to have one of six words/phrases in it: stealing, lawyer, taxes, homosexual, politician or drink and drive. I wrote nearly 20 pages, single spaced, all crooked, we call it The Ungodly Document. I’ve cannibalized parts of it for three songs already, “What’s Yours Is Mine”, “A Collect Call From Nowhere” (which we made a video for, I like it) and “I Like To Drink And Drive Because I Want To Be A Giant Pinball Going Down The Road”. The line “I am a politician and me me me me more more more mine mine mine” is something I apparently wrote. Apparently. It’s my handwriting, at least.
More?
Ok, this is a concept album I’ve wanted to do for ages. I don’t think this has ever been done before, and I wanted to do something that has never been done. Plus I’m sick of writing lyrics, it’s hard and I’m dyslexic and I write everything backwards. So … I got high and sat down and watched my ten favorite movies, bang, in a row. Well, 7 movies and 3 TV shows. Three days of amphetamines, coke, and benzos. Every time I heard a line I loved, I’d hit pause, find my notebook under the empty liquor bottles and beer cans, and write it down. I later rearranged them, changed a few, made them rhyme if I could, wrote the music, we rehearsed and we hit the studio out in Queens. I have to do certain … um, favors periodically for the owner to get the studio time that we get, but trust me, we get plenty of studio time.
Here’s what I had written originally:
I dont work hard to get what i want because i can steal what you worked hard to get
I drink and drive because i want to be a giant pinball going down the road
I give to the poor so i can have something to steal
I have a college degree and that is why i cant read or rite
I like paying taxes because i dont want to be able to support my family
It’s not illegal to be a drunk because my leaders are alcoholics
I like paying taxes so they can find out why the earth is not flat
I like to hump sheep and that is why i like americans
I never get involved because it only happens to other people
I never make mistakes because i never do anything
I steal your childrens toys because mine dont have any to steal
I was molested by six men and their three lawyers helped them
I would never steal from another thief because they would steal it back from me
It is censorship for anyone to deny me the right to steal whatever i want
It’s not illegal to be a prostitute because my leaders are whores
I have a college degree because they wanted to get rid of me
I am a criminal because i want to be a criminal lawyer
i can drink and drive because its my right to express myself
i can steal what is yours because it is freedom of speech
i am an abomination and my lawyer is going to get me into heaven
i am a homosexual because i dont want to go to hell when i die
i am a politician and me me me more more more mine mine mine
i like paying taxes so they can find out why whores get pregnant
i am a skinhead because my penis is a skinhead
i am a thief and what is mine is mine and what is yours is mine
i like paying taxes so they can find out why homosexuals like to swallow
i am an american because i want to go to hell when i die
i am guilty of molesting you because my lawyer says i am innocent
i am not a criminal because i only commit crimes
i am not a prostitute because i am only a slut
i am uneducated because i went to school to party
i can drink and drive because my lawyer is going to help me kill your children
i like paying taxes so they can find out why a grasshopper is green
i did not rape you because i only forced myself on you
i dont drink and drive because i only drive while i drink
i dont have to pay taxes because i dont buy what i steal
i can molest you because it is my freedom of speech
i can steal from you because my lawyer is going to help me
i killed my monkey because i spanked it to death
i like paying taxes because i like living in a cardboard box
i am a criminal and if you resist my lawyer and i will sue you
i am above the law because i have money under the table
i am not a homosexual because i dont inhale when i suck
i drink and drive because i want to be a giant pinball going down the road
it is all your fault that i raped you because i don’t believe in god
i steal from other people because they owe it to me
it is my legal loophole right to molest you because my lawyer is three lawyers
I like paying taxes so they can find out why the sky is not blue
i can steal what i want and get away with it because my lawyer says i am sick
i can get away with murder because i am a politician
i am not a homosexual because i am only a faggot
And here are the tracks,
- Track 1. Lick My Love Pump
- Track 2. Mark It Zero
- Track 3. How Would You Like One Cross Yo Lip?
- Track 4. No More Half Measures
- Track 5. Shooting The Devil In The Back
- Track 6. The Conversation Made More Sense This Time
- Track 7. Welcome To Emerald City
- Track 8. That’s Wood
- Track 9. You Should Not Drink And Bake
- Track 10. Mah Brotha! Actually, funny story, a musician friend of mine, can’t name him but anyone reading this would know who he is, answers every phone call with a loud MAH BROTHA! So I had to name a song that
- Track 11. I Can Drink And Drive Because It Is My Right To Express Myself (this is actually an instrumental, and I’ll give you three guesses where I got the title, and the first two don’t count. This was almost the album title. Boy, I steal a lot from that thing I wrote)
Funniest thing that happened to you lately?
That’s easy, because it got turned into one of our best songs, called This Is My Jam!
So, I’m a tournament 9-ball player. Two friends of mine, the bass player from Tomorrow’s Dream and the drummer from Chaka, went out to shoot some pool in Jersey. I could run out on them, but that would be no fun, so I was just messing around. Now this place was in the hood. I won’t name the place but it rhymed with Billar De Morristown. We got eyeballed the whole night by like 40 guys, it was a little intimidating. They were playing this cheesy salsa music, and I was about to shoot when a new song came on, and my buddy says “ahh, this is my jam!”. I laughed so hard I nearly banged my head on the rail. I couldn’t shoot for 5 minutes, the spasms of laughter kept coming. I still get the giggles thinking about it. We constantly text each other “this is my jam!”
Tour?
That’s complicated. We have some local shows coming up. However … our manager …. there’s something wrong with him. Seriously
Our manager intentionally booked us at the most ridiculous places possible for a tour between March 20th and April 23rd. . And he didn’t even actually book us at any of these places. he just submitted our tour itinerary and now it’s in all over the Internet, local papers, luckily he put them all as free shows so nobody gets burned buying tickets, because we sure as hell won’t be there. So … officially, according to our stupid manager, the tour starts off with a show in front of my apartment in the Bronx on March 20th, and of course my home address is listed. They do that all the time. We are then officially booked to play The Meadowlands Arena Men’s Room, The Greater New York Swingers Monthly Meeting in Queens, a yard store on Long Island, a Crematorium in Queens, Billar de Morristown (of course), the Bronx House Of Detention, then we’re apparently headlining the This Is My Jam Festival, you can probably guess where that is, then a local 7-11, a Wawa in Pennsylvania, Mount Hebron cemetery in Queens, The Bronx Psychiatric Center, a sex shop in Brooklyn, a Spanish-speaking Pentecostal Church in Queens, A cemetery in the Bronx, A gun shop on Staten Island, a train platform and then a Dunkin’ Donuts in central Jersey. Then he has us going to Europe, for a show at a Holocaust Museum in Poland and then to the fictional milkbar from A Clockwork Orange, and then a red-eye back to play The Shady Rest Funeral Home in the Bronx the next day.
This is what I have to deal with.
Any parting words?
Don’t drink and drive. We don’t need any more giant pinballs going down the road. One (me) is enough.
